Lychee's and Cynics.

I am much like a lychee. On the outside I'm a tad cynical, a tad hard...but not too hard...a little firm maybe. I can be a bit cold. But if there's one thing I'm not it's breakable. No matter how hard you throw a lychee against the cold brick wall of life, it won't crack.
However, ironically, it does not take long to scratch beneath the exterior and discover the layer of sensitivity, softness and tenderness. Then if you dig below that layer you find a very grounded and unbreakable person again. The pip, the seed. The firm core of values and beliefs. The spirit that is in touch with the earth and will not change even in a thousand years.

The ramblings of a train ride:
Detach vs Attach?
Detachment's eye's too critical and unfavourable.
The lighting is too cold and unforgiving on the stage of cynics.
Why have a harsh view of the world? Why be immersed in such a
corrupt emotion?
Indeed some may perceive it to be rationality and reason-
But why not uncruel and uncorrupt, non-judgemental love?
A generous friend this feeling is. It showers one with irreplaceable
warmth and let's us see the beauty, the creativity.
And so, logic and reason would have love as the better option?
Happy vs Unhappy.
...I give into love's sweet breath, like a dove who gives into the hunter's
sweet death...

About a Boy

If someone were to ask me, "If there was something you could talk about non-stop forever, what would it be?" I would simply answer "Him".

I am so happy right now, I finally know what it means to be perfectly contented. Money rolling in from two jobs, another short film to be done, another appearance to make, marks more than satisfactory, friends and family harmonized, body issues fading....and yes...him.

I don't care what you call it "lust", "love", I have realised that it really doesn't matter, its just how you feel right now that counts. You can't place it under some pretentious social label, you can't analyse it or criticize it. It just is. And that's what I love about it. The fact that I can just feel for once.

I'm the type of person to over-analyse everthing under the sun, especially when it comes to my intimate feelings, always backtracking and wondering if it feels 'right' or if its too much for the person, basically trying to morph my feelings to match the other persons. It really doesn't work. So I decided to take a risk and go for it, just feel and live in the moment without checking to see whether it was right or whether it was wrong.

...It works. Utterly and completely. I am happy and discovering many amazing things about, not only myself, but another human being, in the most lovely, beautiful way. Call me an over-romantic, love-sick girl. Meh, I'll just call you a cynic. ^_^

Throw your hands up.

Dancing around the room makes me feel alive....

So there's this bug that keeps on flying onto my screen. I am so annoyed right now. Just when you think you've killed it BAM it strikes again with more aggression. It never learns it's lesson it just keeps on pursuing the light. That persistent bug. Now this bug scenario, as random and as common as it is, reminds me of a similar situation. A persistent, annoying thought that keeps on coming back. I think it will always be there. No matter how hard I try, I can't fight it, I'll never truly be happy, truly self contented.

A wavering self-confidence I can be as high as a kite and as low as the molten rock within the earth's crust. With this also comes a failed self-image. Body issues. It strikes again. Maybe I am selfish as some people have called me...and this whole thing is just some self absorbed stage, whatever it is, it's based on my perception of what other people see...

I don't understand how people can be truly contented.

Personal Legend of Sorts

One day I went and sat on a bench, the echo of the light at my feet. The trees conspiring a magical force around me. I realized I was in love with the world, I had missed the imagination. A ghost was calling my name from beyond time and the laws of physics and suddenly I realized my personal legend.

So recently, after returning from a fantastic acting camp, I have found myself again. And in a world filled with conspiracy and mistrust its easy to lose yourself in the events that get you down. So I was questioning prior to camp, my love of acting. Yes I want to be an actress, I've always wanted to be one ever since I could remember...Performing is magic to me, I'm in another zone in this alternate reality. It really is amazing and I love it. However, social pressures, career pressures and money pressures were obviously making myself not only doubt my ability but question if this really is the path for myself...

But the magic that one of my teachers taught on camp from the book "The Alchemist" and how it can be used as an analogy of life, made me realize. No...this is my path...I'm on the right path...And you know how I know it? You know how you could possibly find yours? Just ask: "Does this make me shine best? Does it make me happy?" And then feel, your body will reply to your answers...I had butterflies in my stomach...It's not the thing that you neeeed or yeeeearrrnnnn for, but simply the thing that makes you happiest. And I've come to concur that performing stage or film, is where I'm happiest. Giving the gift of entertainment through voice, movement and emotions.

There's always going to be someone better...but that still doesn't mean I can't shine as well.

Back to the Drawing Board

Well I must say, I do fail at this blog thing. However, I have returned!
Horay! Now lets begin some social commenting.

Current Happenings:
Person A left Person B, Person B feels like shit.
Swine Flu - the media pandemic that has taken over the world.
Leather Jackets - the new old rage.
How I met your mother - OMG DID WE JUST MEET THE MOTHER?!?!?!??!
Nightwach! Daywatch!

So first things first, person A did in fact leave person B. ouch! But person B expected this to be so, call it woman's intuition. What sucks now is the social politics running through the grade, "I knew he was going to do that to her" "Haha he never really liked her" that's not okay. That's just immature. The worst thing is that Person B can't even talk to Person A about without being considered as the 'weird ex'. >_>. seriously dont know what to do.

Swine Flu...well the media must be making millions. Half of its crap and leaves one wondering who can we really trust in event of a serious pandemic - and when i mean serious i mean the type where the odds of living are 1 in 5 or less. Not the fucking flu. People take a codral.

Coming back from the 70s.....

Leather Jackets! Yes. Sex in the form of a clothing item. I'm so getting myself one of these babies.

Did we just meet the mother? I fucking hope so. =D!


Night watch and Day watch are the most amazing films I have ever watched. Part of a trilogy, these are Russian fantasy films. Exploring Good vs Evil in an amazing amazing storyline set in modern times, like Underworld but 100x better because its original. Instead of that hollywood crap. Vampires, 'others', witches the day watchers the night watchers, this is fucking epic.

Under My Skin..

Things to Complain. Yes I have somethings I need to vent:

#1) Dear the producers of Skins, I love this show (see above picture). Seriously. "Skins" is not just another teen series..from the crazy parties to the sad romances I've followed these characters through thick and thin. But now its all going to change! With series 2 ending all of the characters are leaving being replaced by the next generation *insert loud tears here* oh how they grow up... and because I live in the land of Oz it means I have to wait until later on this year to see Season 3...in the meantime I have to watch repeats of season 1 and 2 on SBS, which just pushes the dagger deeper into my heart. =[. So producers of Skins, it would be very nice to have reappearances of the former characters and for season 3 to be shown sooner...thankyou.

#2) Dear Boys. Guys. Men. Call them what you will. Just when I was happy being friends with someone they had to go and make it awkward...Is being friends not enough for you all? So he proclaimed his feelings to me...and it was needless to say it was the most excruciating thing yet, yeah he's a nice guy..but I don't like him THAT way..the conversations goes as followed:
SS: So I like, like, you...haha I know that sounds like a fifth grader but yeh
bugs: Oh..haha?
SS: Sorry I just had to vent my feelings..
bugs: ...oh...your serious..
SS: Yeah your *insert a beautiful composition of compliments here*
-awkward silence-
bugs: ...um...well...birds are nice...*points to a bird*


..."birds are nice"....BIRDS ARE NICE!?! what the hell was I thinking?
And here, demonstrated by the verbally clumsy fool also known as bugs, is how NOT to handle a proclamation of feelings from sensitive man.

Oh cry me a river.

#3) Dear Work,
Why must you make me get up at 7am? you know I'm not a nice person when its that early in the morning. Wouldnt it be better to just call me in a bit later? That way you will be granted a happier bugs with a better sense of direction and a less dreamy state of mind. See it works for both of us.


Signing off.

An Introduction of Sorts

Yes to start off the New Year I have started a new blog. To record thoughts, feelings and my general life stories. Enjoy.

General Information:

Name: Danni
Penname: Bugs
Birthday: 2nd of August
Zodiac Sign: Leo
Gender: Female
Likes: Rain, Sleeping, eating Italian and Spanish food, friendly people, nutty people, odd people, most animals
Dislikes: Getting up early, boring people, judgmental people, ironically bugs and insects


So where should I begin? 2008 perhaps?

2008

Where​ did your begin​ 2008?​​​
Last year I was at my house celebrating. It wasn't at all exciting...

What was your statu​s by Valen​tines​ Day?
Single =[

Did you have to go to the hospi​tal?​​​
I went to the hospital a few times because I have a strange back and I had food poisoning. ick.

Did you fall in love this year?​​​
Nay

Did you have any encou​nters​ with the polic​e?​​​
Ha...no of course not...

Where​ did you go on vacat​ion?​​​
I didn't go on one this year >_>. except my four day trip to Sydney..

What sport​ing event​s did you atten​d/​​​watch​ ?
the Olympics. now that was pretty spectacular.

Descr​ibe your birth​day:​​​
After a fab day at the Australian Acting Academy I went around Southbank with my friends.
Had a nice night as well.

What has been your favor​ite momen​ts?​​​
Well there was what that time were me and Kate bailed from a house at 6am...

Man 2008 was such a douche.

Any new addit​ions to your famil​y?​​​
I found out I have a cousin and my sister is going to have her child early march ^_^


Made new frien​ds?​​​
Oh totes.


Favou​rite week​ out?
They were all so good...

Other​ than home,​​​ where​ did you spend​ most of your time?​​​
work, city, southbank that's always fun.


Chang​e your hairs​tyle?​​​
no but its now quite longer than it once was.


Did you have a New Years​ resol​ution​ ?
yeah but I doubt i'll keep it knowing me...


Get marri​ed or divor​ced?​​​

Ha nope

Get arres​ted?​​​
Nay


Are you happy​ to see 2008 go?
It was a bit of a let in down in some areas
but it was also so great at the same time...


What are you mostl​y look​ing forwa​rd to?
next year? a guy.


Do you think​ you will chang​e?​​
Ofcourse it would be silly not to..


Do you want to chang​e?​​​
Yeah change is for the better


Will you be chang​ing your hair colou​r?​​​
I hope so. A nice golden brown...


What will your new years​ resol​outio​n be?
Join that gym, save the money I make rather than spend it all, go to spain!


Do you recko​n you will grow?​​​
Yeah definantly


Do you want to gain frien​ds?​​​
I don't mind my crew now but no doubt I will be meeting some fantastic people..


Do you recko​n you will lose someo​ne?​​​
I hope not.


Will you go on any camps​ ?
Haha drama camp.


Are you think​ing of doing​ any new sport​s?​​​
Pfft sport...


Are you excit​ed for your birth​day next year?​​​
Sure why not.


Will you have lots of parti​es?​​​
Yeah defiantly.


Will you go to lots of parti​es?​​​
Mhmmm


Whats​ somet​hing bad happe​ning next year?​​​
I wouldn't call it bad...


Are you excit​ed for next year?​​​
Yessum


Will 09 be the year?​​​
Haha yeah I hope so. I can look back when i'm 100 and be all like
"ahh 2009....now that was a year"




Signing off.
Happy New Year.